Underneath It All

Sometimes I seem unapproachable. Underneath it all, I'm really just a little shy. Sometimes I lash out at those I love. Underneath it all, I'm probably just stressed by school and work. Sometimes I just must have my way. Underneath it all, I don't want to admit that I don't like your way. Sometimes I seem antagonistic toward you. Underneath it all, I'm probably just intimidated by you. Sometimes it seems like I'm procrastinating. Underneath it all, I just don't know where to start.
There's a reason behind everything I do, feel, and think. It's this life of cause-and-effect I can't get away from. If I separate the cause from the effect, or vice versa, I'm left with disjoined thoughts, feelings, and actions, which sounds a lot like PMS.
I marvel at the interconnected integrity of life, how my life as a human is one and it's complete.
I marvel even more at how all of humanity is entirely unrelated, yet intricately intertwined. How is it that, in the beginning of time, one man and one woman took me down with them when they sinned? Am I to blame for my blunders, or are they?
How is it that, more recently, one man changed my fate with one act of loving obedience? I may never fully understand, but I will forever be thankful for this chance at a new life. It's not a life of perfection, but it's not a life of unredeemed disgrace. I live somewhere in between the two, in a land of trials and triumphs. A land where, simply put, I mess things up and Christ cleans it up again.